Back to Basics – Part 3: Dating

Back to Basics – Part 3: Dating

Back to Basics – Part 3
February 27-28, 2021
Steve Tanner

Matthew 22:37-40

“‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 (p.753)

  • Become The Kind Of Person You Want To Be With. 

1. Build on the right foundation.

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock.”
Matthew 7:24-27 (p.738)

2. Believe your true worth  

“So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 (p.3)

“Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has become a child of God. And everyone who loves the Father loves his children, too” 1 John 5:1 (p.943)

3. Trust God’s timing.

But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” 1 Corinthians 7:7 (p.873)

“Love is patient…” 1 Corinthians 13:4a (p.878)

4. Be smart.

“If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (p.876)

 “Jesus responded, ‘The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God.’”
Matthew 4:7 (p.738)

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” 2 Timothy 2:22 (p.915)

Series Key Verse: “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
Romans 12:2 (p.866)

Next Step: ____ This week, I will focus on becoming the kind of person I want to be with by memorizing Matthew 22:37-39.

You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’“

Discussion/Groups Guide from the Weekend TalkFrom the Weekend Talk of February 27-28, 2021
Back to Basics – Part 3: Dating

Lif­e Groups use these questions to go deeper into what we talked about this weekend. Dig into them so you will be ready for the discussion at your Life Group. If you are not in a Group, find out more at

You can also use this guide to discuss the Talk with your family or friends.

Conversation Starters

  • Maybe it was something like getting food poisoning from the dinner he (or she) cooked, or maybe it was getting caught in a storm, or realizing you forgot your wallet just as the check was being presented at the restaurant. Whatever it was, talk about a “dating disaster” you have experienced.
  • What are some of the best ideas for a creative date you have heard about or experienced?

Qui­­ck Review

  • Looking back at your Talk Notes, was there anything you heard in the service that stood out or maybe even confused you?

Discussion Starters from the Weekend Talk

Refer to the Talk Notes and related Bible verses from this Weekend’s Talk Notes.

Regarding dating, Pastor Steve turned our attention away from finding the ideal person to be with and focused on our need to, Become The Kind Of Person You Want To Be With.”

  • Read Matthew 22:37-40 (p.753) and Romans 12:2 (p.866).
    • We talk a lot about this Matthew 22 passage because, well, Jesus called it the Greatest Commandment!
      • When it comes to relationships—dating or otherwise—how is this passage relevant to your everyday living?
      • Why is verse 40 so important to the context of the passage?
      • In what ways does God transform us?

Steve then walked us through a few steps to successfully becoming the kind of person you want to be with.

  1. Build on the right foundation. See Matthew 7:24-29 (p.753)
    • Have you ever experienced foundation issues with your house?
    • What does Jesus say about the person who builds on solid rock?
    • What does He say about the one who builds on sand?
    • What situation have you faced where you either were supported by a “solid rock” or you were let down by “shifting sand”?
  2. Believe your true worth. See Genesis 1:26-27 (p.3) and 1 John 5:1 (p.943).
    • Have you ever doubted your true worth? What caused your doubt?
    • How does knowing we’re created in God’s image help in the context of your relationships?
    • How is believing your “true worth” different from your “self-worth”?
  3. Trust God’s timing. See 1 Corinthians 7:7 (p.873) and 1 Corinthians 13:4 (p.878).
    • Why is it hard to do this?
    • When have you had to wait for something?
    • What does 1 Corinthians 7:7 say about singleness?
  4. Be smart. See 1 Corinthians 10:12-13 (p.876), Matthew 4:7 (p.738), and 2 Timothy 2:22 (p.915).
    • Are your temptations common to others?
    • One way to think of temptation is with a formula:
                            OPPORTUNITY + DESIRE = TEMPTATION.
      • If you remove either the desire or the opportunity, then you remove the temptation.
      • Talk about your own experiences with this. How does this work in real life?
      • What does Paul mean when he says in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that “he will show you a way out”? Have you ever failed to take the “way out”?
    • 2 Timothy 2:22 was our memory verse from last week’s Talk.
      • Do you have any more thoughts about this verse this week?

Worth Repeating

NOTE: This article snapshot is repeated from last week’s guide. It bears repeating.

  • What about singleness? The following is from the Life Application Bible Commentary (Barton, B. B., & Osborne, G. R. (1999). 1 & 2 Corinthians (p. 96). Wheaton, IL: Tyndale House.)
      Both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. One is not morally better than the other, and both are valuable for accomplishing God’s purposes. It is important for each believer, therefore, to accept his or her present situation. When Paul said he wished that all people were like him (that is, unmarried), he was expressing his desire that more people would devote themselves completely to the ministry without the added concerns of spouse and family, as he had done. He was not criticizing marriage—after all, marriage and sex are God’s created way of providing companionship and populating the earth.
    • Are you married? Seek to honor God with your marriage commitment by honoring your spouse. Seek to serve God in whatever situation, position in life, or surroundings that you and your spouse share. If your spouse is not a believer, pray that your life and faithfulness will lead him or her to faith in Jesus Christ.
    • Are you single? Seek to honor God with your singleness. Do not feel that you are less of a person, alone in a world of couples. Instead, see your singleness as a gift from God. Ask him how he would have you serve him with that gift. You may find opportunities available to you that might never have been possible if you were married.
    • Trust God with your life. Seek to serve him with the gifts he has given.

Digging Deeper

The Fruit of the Spirit is a great place to start when it comes to living out our main point this week to become the kind of person I want to be with. Find the Fruit of the Spirit list in Galatians 5:22-23 (p.893.)

Our Life Transformation Bible Discipleship Plan walks through each of these nine characteristics of what should be present in a Follower of Jesus. Pick one of them to read through this week as you focus on your foundation in Jesus, your true worth as a child of God, God’s timing, and your opportunity to live in wisdom with regards to all of this.

  • The Fruit of the Spirit readings begin with “Love” on page A52 in the Life Transformation Bible.
  • If you do not have one of these Bibles, you can also access the readings right here:

Next Step

My Next Step: ____  This week, I will focus on becoming the kind of person I want to be with by memorizing Matthew 22:37-39.

“You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (p.753)

  • Use the link on the app or go to your Connection Card at to indicate you are taking this Next Step so that we can pray for you.

What’s Ahead

  • This week we begin a new Series, Epic. It is impossible to please God without faith. This week see how obstacles can become opportunities as we start our new message series, Epic.
  • Be sure to register online for in-person services. To help us maintain attendance and social distancing recommendations from the CDC and state and local officials, we ask that you please register online for you and your family and guests.
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Note: Page numbers given with the verses are from The Life Transformation Bible. This Bible is the New Living Translation, including many useful tools to help you better understand God’s Word, including our own Alive Church Life Transformation Discipleship Plan. They are available FREE. Let us know if you’d like to have one. We also have a Kids Edition of the Life Transformation Bible.